Go Ahead, Make …

On a slightly more whimsical note from all the heavy-duty stuff going on around the globe these days, Ed Straker has this short but no less funny (to some of us, anyway) little piece from today’s American Thinker. To set the stage, go back to New Year’s day of this year when ole’ Dingie ‘Arry Reid appeared at a presser looking like he’d just been well and truly put through the ringer in a boxing match. To whit:

If you were beaten to a pulp, lost an eye, and had your ribs broken, wouldn’t you want to pursue justice against the one responsible?  Harry Reid does.  After being badly beaten up “by his exercise machine,” he is suing for his injuries.  Here’s exactly how it happened (unless it happened a completely different way):

“The TheraBand was mounted to a sturdy object in his bathroom,” according to the lawsuit. “While in use, the TheraBand broke or slipped out of Mr. Reid’s hand, causing him to spin around and strike his face on a cabinet.”

According to the document, Reid suffered “loss of vision in his right eye, a concussion, broken orbital bones, severe disfigurement and bruising to his face, hand injuries, facial lacerations, scarring, and broken ribs.”

So when Senator Reid  spun around, he hit the cabinet, injuring his face.  But the article doesn’t say how his eye got injured.  And there is no mention of how his chest injuries occurred.  It looks as though Senator Reid hit his cabinet over and over and over again, causing injuries all over his body. Perhaps he should sue the cabinet maker as well.

The complaint also indicated that the injuries could affect Reid’s ability to secure employment. He plans to retire at the expiration of his current Senate term at the beginning of 2017.

Now this is the confusing part.  Reid could stay in the Senate with one eye.  You don’t have to have two eyes or even a brain to be a Democratic senator.  Even if he weren’t a senator, he would undoubtedly have numerous employment opportunities on K Street.

It’s not as if Reid was beaten up by mobsters, and ordered to chair his own retirement party, or else.  That’s not what happened here.  So why can’t he get more work?

Reid is suing, claiming the manufacturers should have issued warnings about the exercise machine.  Reid says that if he had been given a warning first, he surely would have obeyed and avoided the injuries, which were at the hands of a machine and not at hands of organized crime.

I think politicians who have dealings with exercise machines, especially politicians in Nevada, where such machines are especially prone to cause injuries, should be very careful with such fitness devices.  If the fitness machines need attention or maintenance, then it should be provided, or else other politicians could suffer the same exercise-related injury that Harry Reid did.

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Forgive me for my scepticism, but I was under the impression that this was old news and that Reid’s drunken brother was the one who pummeled him. My only regret is that he does not have 12 more brothers! On the other hand, could it be just another shakedown of someone completely innocent to cover for the fact that his wife/brother/mob beat the dickens out of him? Truthfully, had they done their job correctly, we wouldn’t have this problem.

Why on God’s green earth should the exercise machine company have to settle this case? Wouldn’t Dingie ‘Arry have to show the band that supposedly broke? The company should go to court and show documentation of how strong their product is and give test results since Dingie himself remarked that these bands withstand great resistance. Reid was in a small(?) bathroom. How much could he have been pulling on these bands to break them? And even if his hand had slipped out, only his hand and wrist would have been injured, right?

Harry Reid is either stupid, or stupider. I have to laugh thinking what his brother’s cut will be to stay silent since it appears that he was the one who beat the hell out of Harry. Ever since he had his “accident”, he has remained strangely silent for one who heads to the podium for any hint of DemoMarxist demagoguery on the progressive agenda. I think the American that silenced Reid is a fabulous patriot. The brother is a scape-goat. We also will note the silence of the black caucus and other inept “representatives” while OBO the Clown prince remains behind bullet proof glass and 400 armed black suits. Connecting the dots is child’s play.

Here’s still more to make your day!